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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28972) - you deserved it (3176)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (3175)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML

#20524387
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20880) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (2919)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (2907)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (2893)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (2803)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (2719)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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