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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12409) - you deserved it (38421)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (37690)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13810) - you deserved it (33664)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

#20513703
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (25763)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15185) - you deserved it (24116)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

#20524057
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13506) - you deserved it (22807)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (14925)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (13753)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (13448)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26658) - you deserved it (12981)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40093) - you deserved it (11662)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43096) - you deserved it (11411)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (11369)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)



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