Thursday 21 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (25045)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8516) - you deserved it (24184)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (21554)
On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6685) - you deserved it (14965)
On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10299) - you deserved it (14574)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States
Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9534) - you deserved it (14259)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (10897)
On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27613) - you deserved it (9720)
On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)
Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (9404)
On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (9169)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (8944)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22187) - you deserved it (7375)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Monday 20 May 2013
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