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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (2153)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (2126)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (2096)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24772) - you deserved it (2091)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2041)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18372) - you deserved it (2038)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (2034)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (1984)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (1867)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

#20513499
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (1855)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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