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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I WENT SLEDDING WITH MAH FRIENDS. I SAID I WAS TIRD AND DIDN'T WANT TO GO, BUT THEY PRESS-GANGD ME INTO IT. I ENDD UP SLEDDING RIGHT INTO A TREE, FRACTURING MAH LEG, AND SCRAPING UP MAH ENTIRE FACE. FML

#20520149
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (4789)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered thathen you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that yur son called the cable company and had yur plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (4644)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57055) - you deserved it (4603) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction . He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away . FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt ( realised ) with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an ( illiterate idiot ), and if he hadn't muttered ( family of morons ) when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (4420)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I mutd the TV just in time to hear mah mom yell at mah dad about how thier sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (4390)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate 4 relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (4302)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, a guy I went on one date wit asked me out again via text. Being onest, I texted back, politely saying tat e was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He cummed over to ouse, screaming about ow awful I was fir "text message breaking up wit im" an ten cracked windsield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4219)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband an children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil an barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY I MET MAH MOTHER'S DEEPLY RELIGIOU FIANCÉ FOR THE FRST TIME. HIS RESPONSE UPON SEIENG ME WAS TO LOOK ME SQUARE IN THE EYE AND SAY, ( YOU'LL NEED TO TAKE OUT THAT NOSE STUD OR I'M AFRAID YOU'LL NOT BE WELCOME IN OUR HOME. ) FML

#20513141
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to mah grandmahile at mah house!! She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening looool to press charges!! I still don't knowhose side to take!! FML

#20518703
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (4045)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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