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Tuesday 19 February 2013

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Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

by SchoolSucks / 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 10:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

by annoyed / 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

by blob / 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

by Wilf / 02/22/2013 at 10:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

by sniperkit / 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation