Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, I cummed home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on mah desk with a note from mah roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of mah roommates are aware of. FML
yesterday I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast an there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away , mah mother yelled , "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for u muddafuckas to show up." FML
Today, girlfriend broke up with me cuz she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange . This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months . mega FML
today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling lyk I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know yur weakness," and left. FML
Yesterday the people living below me have been blasting there music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day . The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast there music just as loudly in revenge . I have two very important exams tomorrow . FML
Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother looool took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave."
Today, a co-worker invited me looool to go out 4 lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of mah car. FML
Friday 27 March 2015