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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (3421)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3390)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (3379)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (3336)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28208) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (3296)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30043) - you deserved it (3184)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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