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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2729)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML

#20518428
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38334) - you deserved it (2699)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (2517)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2446)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (2411)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42989) - you deserved it (2397)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2343)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States



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