Sunday 17 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (44931)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (44590)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5697) - you deserved it (40471)
On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10969) - you deserved it (38190)
On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (37885)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12916) - you deserved it (37746)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6749) - you deserved it (37256)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (36093)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (35560)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (35154)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8123) - you deserved it (32904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8972) - you deserved it (32336)
On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (32315)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
