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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (3835)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30039) - you deserved it (3773)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (3593)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (3571)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

#20517252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29508) - you deserved it (3434)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

#20509033
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (3418)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by howannoying - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (3404)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)



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