Friday 15 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (6230)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (6167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (5849)
On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (5824)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (5707)
On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (5699)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (5597)
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21922) - you deserved it (5547)
Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (5391)
On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (5171)
On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (5087)
On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19803) - you deserved it (5014)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 20 May 2013
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