Thursday 14 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (1744)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)
Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (1712)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (1688)
On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (1617)
On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States
Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (1613)
On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)
Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (1606)
On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (1595)
On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (1547)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (1505)
On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (1498)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (1498)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (1385)
On 02/17/2013 at 2:38am - misc - by left-out - United States
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25792) - you deserved it (1370)
On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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