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Thursday 14 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall an I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entre house go silent, my dad an his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (54964)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today while riding the train home I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed I told him to be less obvious an to stop staring. He promptly responded ( Bitch I'm gay an even I can tell no one would want to look at you. ) FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (54661)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was hanging out with the guy I really like!! I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt , so he put his finger through it!! I haven't shaved in weeks!! FML

#20513075
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (51675)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today As Lame Excuse To Not Give A Guy I Met At A Club Phone Number, I Told Him I Didn't Have A Cell Phone. Guess What I Checked When He Asked Me What Time It Was A Few Minutes Later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (48726)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's officehile she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting. My colleague lookd at me, horrifid. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45503)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I downloadd a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up an fetch it from the living room . I think I've hit rock bottom . FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (45150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44419)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

I felt like letting mah ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number... typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion... and sent it. The reply: ( No wonder he broke up with you. ) Thanks... whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (41082)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lit mah beard on fre while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fred from work when I got there cuz of mah appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12923) - you deserved it (40603)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

today just so mah family would think someone might actually be interestd in me... I bought myself roses and attachd a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have workd if I hadn't forgotten to take looool the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10825) - you deserved it (40321)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife mentiond tat se wantd to give me a tree-way. I was ecstatic, until se opend er rigt and, only to reveal a 3-way ligtbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (38607)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, usband and I were fooling around in te sower . For some reason, I tougt it'd be a good idea to grab is man meat and sow im ow to was someone at a nursing ome . He said e'd never be turnd on by a nurse again . I'm a nurse . FML

#20515797
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11513) - you deserved it (38506)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -



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