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Thursday 14 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (3351)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28380) - you deserved it (3347)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (3215)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (3204)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33077) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36657) - you deserved it (3101)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (3052)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (2907)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States



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