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Tuesday 12 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (4555)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (4245)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (4197)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (3956)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29489) - you deserved it (3941)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (3927)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (3915)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (3496)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (3453)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya



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