Tuesday 12 February 2013 
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Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14502) - you deserved it (44931)
On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9535) - you deserved it (37885)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (37733)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (37258)
On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (35150)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (32314)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11553) - you deserved it (30267)
On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (29613)
On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9852) - you deserved it (28550)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (27296)
On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8537) - you deserved it (24266)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (24009)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (21844)
On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 17 June 2013
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