Saturday 9 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (9988)
On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (8656)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27983) - you deserved it (8260)
On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (7828)
On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (7611)
On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (7561)
On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (7483)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (7447)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (7277)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (7012)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (6281)
On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (6237)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (6174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/14/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Edgarillo - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Monday 17 June 2013
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