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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (5823)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16851) - you deserved it (5748)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (5548)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (5371)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

#20499439
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (5016)

On 02/09/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
92 comments

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (4934)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (4932)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

#20502338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (4907)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (4864)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (4595)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (4554)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (4198)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)



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