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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking with mah friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to mah friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shockd, I quickly trid to explain it away with, ( That was my shoe. ) I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (31232)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Yesterday I Was Talking To An Attractive Guy, But I Was So Nervous That I Got Tongue-tied And Then Blurted Out, "Stupid Autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bougt a fis!! I puttd te tank on top of te fridge so ma cat wouldn't get at it!! I'd forgotten to buy some tings 4 its tank, so I quickly ran out to get tem!! Wen I got ome, I saw te tank destroyd on te floor, an ma cat devouring ma fis!! I ad te fis 4 less tan an our!! FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16462) - you deserved it (25948)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today , I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me , and is telling everyone they have , or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (25221)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today , I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant . The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter , and I thought they were fir me . I ate one and a lady came over screaming . Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony . FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (16811)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today... My Manager Asked Me 4 Te Password To My Internet So Se Could Skype Family Since Se Can't Pay Er Bill. Tis Is Te Same Woman Wo Just A Week Ago Tried To Evict Me Cuz My Rent Was An Our Late. Trying To Be Te Bigger Person... I Gave Er Te Password. Se Canged My Password. FML

#20496640
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (16399)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that without my brth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is!! FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (14497)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hred out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to mah mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the thrd time. FML

#20492687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (13850)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

TODAY, I HAD TO USE A DICTIONARY BEFORE I REALIZD I WAS BIENG FLIRTD WITH. MEGA FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (11121)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States



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