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Today, the guy I lyk an his friend cummed home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door an my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments 4 her to realise we were there. FML
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively sereching the place for god knows wat kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure there not poisoned. FML
TODAY, I WAS REHEARSING 4 A SCHOOL PLAY. MY DRAMA TEACHER KEEPS CRITICISING THE PART WHERE I FAKE-TRIP, SAYING I MAKE IT LOOK TERRIBLY FAKE. DURING TODAY'S REHEARSAL, I ACTUALLY TRIPPED 4 REAL, AND SMASHED KNEECAPS AGAINST THE FLOOR WITH A SCREAM. HE STILL SAID "ACTING" SUCKED. FML
Today , Working As A Waitress , I Was Asked By A Customer , Yet Again , How Mah Babby Was Doing. I Don't Have A Baby , But I Do Look Very Similar To Mah 25-year-old Coworker , Who's A New Mom. People Confuse Us All The Time. Unfortunately , Mah Crush , Who Was Standing Nearby , Doesn't Know That. FML
Today hila waiting 4 mah ordar at a rastaurant a woman walkad up to ma and slappad ma!! Sha lookad at ma 4 a momant and said "Sorry I thought you wara somaona alsa." Tan minutas latar tha sama woman cummad back and slappad ma again!! big fat FML
Taday I finishd booking the non-refundable cruise fir mah wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that mah mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she calld back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filld out an application fir a dishwashing job!! My application got tossd out, because I'm not an economics major lyk the other guy applying fir the same job!! FML
today I had to drive to mah workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that mah 12 hour shift is over I can't get out of the building looool as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until mah next 12 hour shift.
TODAY AFTER THREE AND A HALF YEARS OF WORKING DEAD-END JOBS WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE I GOT A CALL FROM A POTENTIAL EMPLOYER IN MY DEGREE FIELD WHO WANTED TO SET UP AN INTERVIEW. THE PROBLEM: THE INTERVIEW IS ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND I'M TOO BROKE TO PAY THE TRAVEL EXPENSES. FML
Friday 27 March 2015