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Tuesday 5 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , after much coaxing , I finally got mah roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and mah friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months , until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15897) - you deserved it (55683)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, ( Hey, that's mine! ) I got several drty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (50532)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (49591)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)

Today, I calld sacurity at my scool bacausa I laft my mittans in a classroom and it was lockd. Wan ta sacurity officar sowd up, a askd if ta mittans I was looking for wara ta onas on my ands. I avan ad to taka ona of tam off to call tam. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9081) - you deserved it (47494)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing mah own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. big fat FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (43388)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Taday I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over !! Things got intimate, and I trid my hardest to make too much noise !! However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we hered my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking" !! FML

#20498986
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (40695)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? ( If your on yur period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no. ) FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (38221)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35552)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with mah friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to mah friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shockd, I quickly trid to explain it away with, ( That was my shoe. ) I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (31232)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Yesterday I Was Talking To An Attractive Guy, But I Was So Nervous That I Got Tongue-tied And Then Blurted Out, "Stupid Autocorrect." FML

#20501923
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (28186)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)



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