Tuesday 5 February 2013 
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Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (4562)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3991)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (3910)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (3770)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (3530)
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15545) - you deserved it (3447)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (3354)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18479) - you deserved it (3289)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (3257)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (3209)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (3126)
On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2964)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36214) - you deserved it (2964)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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