Friday 1 February 2013 
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Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24272) - you deserved it (2621)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30842) - you deserved it (2543)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (2489)
On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22508) - you deserved it (2481)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (2454)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (2417)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (2324)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2238)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (2187)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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