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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Taday my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me looool into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Yesterday , As I Was Walking To My Car , I Noticed A Car Wit A Tail Ligt Out . Trying To Be A Good Citizen , I Walked Up To Te Driver's Side Door And Said "excuse Me" . Te Lady Ten Maced Me Troug Te Open Window . FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

TODAY, I TOLD PARENTS THAT I WAS GOING TO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS. MY DAD GUFFAWED AN SAID, ( OOH, LOOK AT MARY, PRETENDING SHE HAS A SOCIAL LIFE. ) THANKS, DAD. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3004)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out professor can't make it to class due to the weather!! She lives down street!! FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (2951)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend . I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics . Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug . I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle . mega FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with mah parent about going to college. I don't knowhat's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of mah freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I Was Trying To Sleep Away A Fever,hen My Grandma Woke Me Up !! She Was Sitting Next To Me, Shoving Gummy Beres Into My Mouth Until I Startd Choking !! She Laughd, Ran Away, And Denid Everything !! FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (2910)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

TODAY, A TENANT IN MA APARTMENT BLOCK TOLD ME ABOUT A NICE SADY PLACE BEIND OUR BUILDINGERE E OFTEN GOES TO RELAX. CURIOUS, I WENT LOOKING FIR IT. IT WAS A QUIET AND SECLUDD COURTYARD. AT LEAST UNTIL A MAN CAME OUT OF NOWERE WAVING A AMMER IN MA FACE, SCREAMING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, I WAS GIVEN A WEDGIE BY A COMPLETE STRANGER IN A CROWDED BAR. FAT FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26292) - you deserved it (2802)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today,hile mah mother-in-law visitd, I askd if she wouldn't mind watching mah son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shavd his head completely bald. That was his very frst harcut. FML

#20494705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33890) - you deserved it (2800)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, At A Friendly Get-together, Mah Friend's Husband Had Too Much To Drink And Got Into A Fistfight With Mah Husband. I'm Seven-and-a-half Months Pregnant, And The Friendly Get-together Was Mah Babby Shower. FML

#20493991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (2788)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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