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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, AFTER NERELY 5 MONTHS OF TRYING FIR A BABY, I FOUND OUT MAH WIFE HAS CONTINUED TO TAKE THE PILL AS IT GAVE HER A BETTER IDEA OF HER CYCLE AND THUS WHEN SHE'D BE "MOST FERTILE" . FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

TODAY, FOR THE FRST TIME IN WEEKS, MAH WIFE FELT FRISKY, AND WE STARTED FOOLING AROUND. HALF-WAY THROUGH UNDRESSING ME, SHE BOLTED OUT, CLAIMING SHE HAD THE SHITS. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, SHE TEARFULLY CALLED OUT FROM THE BATHROOM, BEGGING ME TO BRING HER A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET PAPER.

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (4458)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML

#20489969
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I Was On The Treadmill At The Gym, When I Felt My Pants Start Slipping. I Trid To Pull Them Up, But Lost My Balance And Fell Face-first Onto The Floor. When I Go To My Wedding Tomorrow, Half The Guest Will Probably Think I've Exchangd My Fiancé 4 Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29392) - you deserved it (4165)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

I want to my cousin's wadding. Ta groom walkad ovar wan ta two of us wara talking, took ona good look at ma, slappad ma on ta ass, an said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rosa ara, you'd ba naxt." Yaa, about tat: I'm a 16-yaar old guy. fat FML

#20485957
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (4154)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, husband startd a conversation with, ( In Pokémon ) and endd the same conversation with ( and that'shy we should divorce . ) FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started sereching for the problem... I couldn't fine it. Luckily I was able to fine a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight yeres. big fat FML

#20493182
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68911) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I recieved a brthday present from a friend . It was the very same gift I gave looool to her fir Christmas . FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today someone put ahole packet of glitter on the blade of mah ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticedhen I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30199) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, A State Trooper Ticketed Me After Learning I Was Ticketed For The Same Offense An Hour Earlier, Namely Driving With A Broken Headlight. The Good News Is That Both Tickets Will Be Dismissed If I Go To Court. The Bad News Is That I'd Have To Go To Different Courthouses At The Same Time Of Day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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