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Today, I ave been waiting 4 a call from a job I applid for . I soon got a text from ma current boss, wo doesn't know I'm job unting, letting me know tat te recruiter was trying to reac me . Turns out ma number on ma resumé was wrong . mega FML
Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!
Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML
Today, my girlfriend askd me if she looool lookd fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two second away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively trid to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really ned to get a life. FML
yesterday I finally found the courage to ask a guy I lyk out fir a drink. He accepted, we drank, an when it cummed time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him dad's number instead. FML
Today, I bougt a fis!! I puttd te tank on top of te fridge so ma cat wouldn't get at it!! I'd forgotten to buy some tings 4 its tank, so I quickly ran out to get tem!! Wen I got ome, I saw te tank destroyd on te floor, an ma cat devouring ma fis!! I ad te fis 4 less tan an our!! FML
2day my boyfriend an I celebrated our anniversary!! I had cooked him a romantic meal an we were planning on eating it in front of the fire!! This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney!! My entire basement filled with smoke an didn't clear fir three hours!! mega FML
Today..!! I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them!! I played 4 four hours straight..!! only to be interrupted by a phone call!! I didn't answer cuz my sock puppets were ( on a date ) and I didn't want to stop playing!! FML
Today... My Manager Asked Me 4 Te Password To My Internet So Se Could Skype Family Since Se Can't Pay Er Bill. Tis Is Te Same Woman Wo Just A Week Ago Tried To Evict Me Cuz My Rent Was An Our Late. Trying To Be Te Bigger Person... I Gave Er Te Password. Se Canged My Password. FML
Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Friday 27 March 2015