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Thursday 31 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (3418)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52694) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (3407)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47937) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (3199)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (3155)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (2999)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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