Tuesday 29 January 2013 
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Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (1582)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29217) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (1544)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (1526)
On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (1488)
On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (1485)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1434)
On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31378) - you deserved it (1399)
On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (1341)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (1292)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (1278)
On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (1227)
On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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