Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 28 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33750) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (3891)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31447) - you deserved it (3854)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33231) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (3760)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (3624)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (3605)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

#20493182
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64176) - you deserved it (3544)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (3533)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (3413)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (3352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: