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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2616)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (2611)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (2606)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (2526)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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