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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47691) - you deserved it (3566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (3557)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58159) - you deserved it (3530)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (3492)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (3457)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (3363)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (3324)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47937) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (3284)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (3260)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)



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