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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24832) - you deserved it (4127)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (4067)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

#20489307
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (4043)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46401) - you deserved it (3964)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (3956)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (3900)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29532) - you deserved it (3897)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (3615)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)



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