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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (4295)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML

#20476416
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (4249)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (3978)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (3970)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (3967)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML

#20486592
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (3877)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37588) - you deserved it (3853)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (3843)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States



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