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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36184) - you deserved it (8030)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (7708)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (7321)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (6931)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (6826)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (6664)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (6573)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (6482)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (6467)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50020) - you deserved it (6396) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (6314)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (6303)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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