Saturday 26 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5243) - you deserved it (24720)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:11am - money - by sorrygranny (woman) - United States
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (24639)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (24567)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (24082)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (23920)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (21164)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (19505)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (16677)
On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25536) - you deserved it (15162)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (14304)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by ohfuckwaffles (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (14160)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (11325)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (10721)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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