Friday 25 January 2013 
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Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (2823)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (2785)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (2709)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2621)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (2604)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (2555)
On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (2537)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20888) - you deserved it (2530)
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (2455)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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