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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

while getting intimate with looool my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She hered the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Yesterday I Met Girlfriend's Dad For Te First Time. His Sirt Said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daugters Dating, Soot Te First One An Word Will Spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless cuz of this , god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis.

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that mah wife has been sereching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close shehispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Taday my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me looool into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ad to slowly explain to my son tat an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I Made A New Friend: The Cricket The Doctor Pulled Out Of My Ear Canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3056)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

TODAY , MY ROOMMATE AN I NOTICD A FOUL SMELL IN OUR APARTMENT. AFTER LOOKING AROUND 4 A LITTLEHILE , I FOUND THAT HER CAT HAD POOPD ON A PAIR OF MY JEANS , AN APPARENTLY TRID TO COVER IT UP BY DRAGGING A SHIRT OVER THE MESS. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (3024)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend . I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics . Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug . I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle . mega FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I Was Trying To Sleep Away A Fever,hen My Grandma Woke Me Up !! She Was Sitting Next To Me, Shoving Gummy Beres Into My Mouth Until I Startd Choking !! She Laughd, Ran Away, And Denid Everything !! FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (2910)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)



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