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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (4120)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

#20482991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (3868)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (3864)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50871) - you deserved it (3846) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34668) - you deserved it (3815)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61139) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (3751)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30855) - you deserved it (3738)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (3700)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia



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