Wednesday 23 January 2013 
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Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (4249)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37610) - you deserved it (4150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (3979)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26282) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37901) - you deserved it (3968)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (3966)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (3934)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (3877)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (3852)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3623)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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