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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (3085)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24414) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (2806)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (2797)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (2732)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31701) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)



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