Tuesday 22 January 2013 
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Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (4208)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37372) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (3977)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (3971)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (3951)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (3874)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (3839)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (3615)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (3571)
On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (3560)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37254) - you deserved it (3536)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (3198)
On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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