Tuesday 22 January 2013 
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Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (3096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (3094)
On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States
Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (3045)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)
Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (3041)
On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland
Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (3004)
On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (2930)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (2896)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (2888)
On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31942) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (2785)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (2700)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (2621)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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