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Monday 21 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (6518)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (6474)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (6198)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (6068)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (5936)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45508) - you deserved it (5936) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (5877)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48673) - you deserved it (5859)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML

#20476416
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (5775)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5656)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (5538)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (5510)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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