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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43550) - you deserved it (4323)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (4283)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (4271)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (4258)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (4103)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (4007)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46461) - you deserved it (3969)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (3960)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (3955)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (3836)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (3761)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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