Saturday 19 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5907)
On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (5793)
On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (5683)
On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (5486)
On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34299) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23311) - you deserved it (5233)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (5151)
On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (5075)
On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States
Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23417) - you deserved it (5054)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (5007)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39787) - you deserved it (4976)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (4968)
On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (4878)
On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Monday 20 May 2013
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