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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (34198)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8575) - you deserved it (32302)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (32097)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14923) - you deserved it (26968)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14427) - you deserved it (26611)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (18997)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (15334)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (14343)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (13963)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (11996)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30092) - you deserved it (11583)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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