Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , Faaling Lonaly Aftar Ma Racant Braakup , I Puttd On Ma Nicast Clots And Want Out Clubbing Wit A Faw Friands. I Brougt A Guy Back To Ma Placa , And Wa Got Intimata. It Was Going Wall , Until A Took Off Ma Pus-up Bra , Tan Panickd And Drunkanly Askd , ( Wara'd Tay Go?! ) FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (48273)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was walking out of girlfriend's ouse wit er wen I saw er tong drying on te rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on face as a joke. Se replied wit, "Tose are moter's." FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I draggd my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me . He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing . Apparently, this is his revenge . FML

#20471580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (46454)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today... I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia... she smild and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughd. FML

Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (43611)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to mah relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and mah new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (42703)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today , I was driving and noticd a polica car parkd in a spot rasarvd for tha handicappd. I stoppd my car and got out to taka a pictura. Tha cop gava ma a tickat for parking in tha road. FML

Today, I was getting a harcut . The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash mah hair before she startd, as it was way too greasy to cut through . big fat FML

#20473123
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (41821)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flrting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the grl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in yur case, it's a big no." fat FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41085)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today... I was walking towards a partyere I knew ma ceating ex would be. I passionately reeresed ow I would ave a go at im big timeen I met im. Guesso was walking rigt beind me an eard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13858) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to putted the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, lyk in movies. As soon as I putted the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (39499)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I MET MA GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 TE FIRST TIME. IN TE ENTRANCE WAY I FELT A SLIGT TUGGING ON MA JEANS. USD TO MA DOBERMAN TUGGING WEN E WANTS TO PLAY, I SOVD ARD WIT MA FOOT. I SUCCESSFULLY PUNTD TIER CIUAUA OFF TE GROUND AND INTO TE NEXT ROOM WERE IT LANDD WIT A TUD. FML

#20460283
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (37902)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to fine out it was a small ice-cube. FML

#20476560
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10157) - you deserved it (36620)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:53pm - misc - by idiot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: