Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33860) - you deserved it (3644)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (3628)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (3537)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (3439)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3249)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

#20476356
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by