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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, aftar a vary aartfalt convarsation wit ma motar, I promisad ar tat I'd quit smoking. I walkad in on ar smoking ma cigarattas an our latar. Har axcusa was tat sa didn't want ma monay to ava gona to wasta. maga FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (3563)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing ere for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home an introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved yur asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had looool a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. mega FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3524)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Tadayile on te bus te guy sitting beside me let out te vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd te kind tat could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors wit te smell alone!! As I gaggd e smrkd and said "Tat's Taco Bell 4 ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY I WALKED UP SIXTEEN FLIGHTS OF STARS TO MY ROOM TO AVOID THE LIFT LINES. WHEN I WAS ALMOST TO THE TOP, THE FRE ALARM SOUNDED. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family . She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decidd to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills . She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid . FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today while living in Florida I had a conversation with mah mother explaining that it might be best fir me to come back home!! Her response "Don't worry they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you ned a place to stay." Thanks Mom!! fat FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today Both My Brother An Sister Missd My Wedding. She Was Playing In A Call Of Duty Tournament An He Got So High That He Forgot About The Wedding Completely. He Was My Best Man.

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I introducd mah girlfriend to mah parents. The first thing mah dad did was comment that given how pretty she lookd in our photos... and compard to how she looks in real life... she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

my grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion I was terribly emasculated publicly for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Taday my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven... a dryer... a dishwasher... a looool toilet... an a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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