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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (5485)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (5378)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

#20464240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (5170)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:06am - love - by EmberLove (woman) - United States

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (5161)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28987) - you deserved it (5140)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30213) - you deserved it (4931)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (4726)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (4623)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (4561)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (4443)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42008) - you deserved it (4286)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (4263)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -



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