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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (8783)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (7833)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31851) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (7555)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28600) - you deserved it (7310)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45931) - you deserved it (7274)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (7191)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42827) - you deserved it (7096)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60227) - you deserved it (6937)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (6833)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36185) - you deserved it (6769)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31693) - you deserved it (6721)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (6651)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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